Author Honey Badger

It comes from knowing exactly what happens when limits are not honored. I did not wake up one day deciding to close doors. I learned where leaving them open led.

This is what people miss when they treat generosity as limitless. They see what is offered and assume it comes from nowhere. They do not see what it takes, what it requires, or what it changes. I know the cost of care because I have paid it.

Some people move through the world assuming that certain bodies exist to be drawn from. That if someone is capable, thoughtful, or generous, they should remain permanently available. They approach people the way corporations approach land: extract first, justify later.

So when care turns into labor, many women blame themselves for feeling tired, resentful, or angry—rather than questioning the expectation itself.

Some people mistake proximity for permission. They believe that shared history, family ties, professional roles, or emotional familiarity entitle them to continued access. They don’t ask. They assume.

We are expected to recover in ways that reassure others. To soften our language. To make meaning quickly. To show improvement on a timeline that makes institutions comfortable

For survivors, consent must be ongoing, revisable, and responsive. A “yes” offered in one moment does not obligate the body in the next. Capacity can change. Tolerance can fluctuate. What felt manageable yesterday may feel overwhelming today.