Author Honey Badger

Not because it is cruel—but because it closes the door cleanly. There is no hinge left open for persuasion, bargaining, or reinterpretation.

For many of us, performance once kept us safe. If you were strong enough, useful enough, agreeable enough, maybe harm would stop. Maybe access would remain. Maybe belonging would be secured. Over time, that performance became mistaken for character.

Kindness that has no edges becomes availability. Availability becomes expectation. Expectation becomes entitlement. When kindness is asked to absorb discomfort, confusion, or dissatisfaction indefinitely, it ceases to be care. It becomes compliance. Firmness is what allows kindness to remain intact.

There comes a point when explanation stops being communication and starts being erosion. I have passed that point. For a long time, I believed clarity required elaboration. That if I explained myself well enough—carefully enough, gently enough—my boundaries would be understood and respected. That belief was incorrect.